Is there someone you admire because they always seem to be self-assured? They don't seem to be intimidated by meeting new people, but you know that you feel shaky and unsure when you have to meet someone. Here's a secret - those people sometimes feel just as shaky as you. They just don't show it. Funny thing is, chances are you don't either. People probably don't have any idea you are as self-conscious as you know you are.

And this is the crux of the matter - the feeling of self-consciousness. The exact opposite of confidence is that over-awareness of your self. Everyone deals with some self-consciousness. It's hard not to have your mind on yourself part of the time. However, the more you can focus outward on others, leaving your fears about yourself behind, the more confidence you will feel and project.

Here are some things to remember:

1. Your are better than you think. You probably focus on those things that you see as your flaws and short-comings. Instead, take a moment to assess your strengths. Maybe you don't think of yourself as handsome, but are you strong? Maybe you're not athletic, but can you sing? Someone else probably admires you for some of those strengths you are ignoring. The goal is not to become conceited. People who are stuck-up aren't loved any more than those who are withdrawn and afraid.

2. You can overcome your shyness and self-consciousness. In fact, part of growing older is to become less painfully aware of the opinions of others. Hopefully, though, you won't have to get old first to find this freedom. And yes, it is freedom to not worry about what other people think. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter what someone else thinks of you if you like yourself the way you are.

3. Which brings us to another point and that is that you can like yourself. In fact, you should. You are worth as much as anyone else. If you have made some mistakes, by all means apologize where necessary and make restitution if you need to. Chances are, you have been a very good citizen who has a lot to offer the rest of the world! Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has weaknesses. That doesn't stop confident people, and it doesn't have to stop you.

4. It may seem like confident people never doubt themselves. Don't you believe it! It's normal to occasionally doubt yourself. Perhaps they're having a bad hair day, or are worried about a presentation they have to make. They just know how to grit their teeth and put on a happy face. This isn't fakery. It's learning to make the best of things in spite of your doubts.

Self confidence is a reachable goal for anyone. Some of the least shy people you'll ever meet are those who are mentally handicapped! If they can approach strangers with assurance, why can't you and I? Focus on your strengths, then forget yourself and focus on others. Soon you'll be moving with confidence, too.